Flashback Friday: Why the heck am still here?

I couldn’t remember exactly what came into my head when I decided to stop chasing the IT industry and get my self into the BPO industry. I have cursed Call Center when I was in college and promised my self that I would never be in that position where I have to listen and fix someone else’s issue while they’re yelling at me.

I’ve known ever since how hell the industry can be. But when I gave up chasing my dream job, I started taking another path and “reverse the curse”. It was as if eating an food I never wanted to eat but I have to eat it anyway.

When would I stop this insanity?

How would I get out from here with full hopes that the outside of this world is better?

What do I plan now?

Good questions! I don’t know. I have attempted twice but still, I land into the same job. Two different companies in a year doesn’t look good at all. I have tried another job. A job that unlike taking in phone calls, I just have to sit there and encode stuff into the computer. The first few weeks was fine. It was ok, because it wasn’t stressful at all. But three months later I realize, I needed a job that pays good and call center was the only job that I thought can provide me with my daily needs and can pay my monthly dues.

The decision wasn’t easy at all. I had to look for alternatives but nothing worked out except Call Center. I moved to Cebu to grant my Mom’s wish, and I have tried the publishing companies. But every time I’ll be asked for my portfolio, my knees would shiver and I would run away. I have a fear that people will never like my pieces. They will never understand how I write. And I only go on public because I am an amateur that has a lot of empty rooms to be filled in.

Not that I stopped chasing the stars but I think I have to prepare my self to surely win that battle. Now, I only think about my siblings’ future. I am the eldest and I should be responsible for helping my Dad with their education. I have been thinking lately to apply for a job out of the country. But what kind of job? I have yet to figure that out. As of now, I’ll have to prepare my papers and hopefully I’d be able to finally walked out from this shell that the so-called comfort zone have built for me.



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