Seated in the training class with sleepy head trying to understand the module Ms. A is discussing to the class. I could hardly remember the day. I only know it’s Monday and it’s our first day at the new building. I was hoping for Ms. A to call for a break but I was already loosing my patience. I pushed my seat a bit far from the table to avoid banging my head on it. I slouched slowly so I won’t call her attention. I started filling in my head with thoughts about my surrounding instead of forcing my self to digest everything that our trainer is discussing.
Sharon who’s very pretty and looks younger than her age, you would not believe she’s already on her late 20’s and is married. She’s a tourism graduate with an accent I am jealous of. She speaks fluently in English and sounds like a real American. Japhet who’s seated behind me, was really indulged into the class and I could sense him nodding in either agreement, shock or curiosity or whatever to Ms. A. I looked around, from the prettiest girl to the most eerie one and wondered why we’re all here. We finished college and most are degree holders but we chose to be call center agents for reasons I don’t know- even mine. I started to emerge with the past and back tracked to the days I was trying to get that dream position in the IT industry but at the same time chasing the publishing companies, hoping they’d hire me.
I was somewhere in the middle of the past when a knock from the door sent me back to where I was at that moment. I saw two guys came in. One wearing a black long sleeved shirt and grey trousers. I wondered how did he come up with such color blocking that looks good on a woman but not on a man -or at least not on him. He came to Ms. A’s computer station and sat down to fix something. He started typing something as Ms. A was telling him what happened earlier when she first logged in to the computer. It easily occurred to me that he was an IT staff.
The other one who stood behind them was wearing a pink shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbow, arms crossed in front of him, eyes that I remember focused on the computer with curiosity, one foot silently tapping on the floor as if he’s listening to a music he can only hear and I realize looking at him from head to foot, this guy looks effortlessly stylish compared to other guy. I thought he’s a trainer too like Ms. A. It didn’t occur to me right away that he’s a new IT staff who’s also in training like us, until the guy in black asked him to sit down and do something on the computer as he assisted him. I was so amazed of how relaxed he was and wondered, what if I am the one on that seat and someone asked me to troubleshoot an app or the computer itself? I graduated Computer Science but I always have a fear of troubleshooting. I don’t know.
I didn’t know how long they were there, I didn’t even know if Ms. A continued with the discussion while they were fixing her computer. I was so busy studying the guy in pink. It felt like I’m starting to like how pointed his nose were, his Asian eyes, eyebrows that are so manly, and no matter how pretty I think he looks, he’s annoying. He stood after and they both left. That is when I realized, he had his hair tied behind. Gotcha! KPop fan! Ithought.
After that day, I always see him almost everywhere. From the hallways at the 7th floor, to the elevator, at the convenience store, at the pantry and even in Jollibee. And started noticing how funny he walks, how tall he is, how fair and smooth his skin looks, how odd his teeth are but still pretty, yet a bit annoying. Day after day I thought I am starting to have a crush on him. I didn’t even know his name. I made up a name that I thought would suit him.
Bryan. I guessed and assumed.
One rainy day after shift, I was with my training-mates waiting at the ground floor for the rain to cease. I told Japhet whom I always talk to that I want to change from my sandals to slippers but is too shy because we’re in the middle of a crowded place. He told me to change and not be embarrassed It’d also be good to change to slippers since it’s raining, he told me. I was about to change my footwear when I spotted the IT guy now wearing a black shirt. He stood beside Japhet. I looked down and saw he’s wearing washed-out jeans and sneaks Cool! I thought. Japhet looked at me with curiosity. The IT guy left and as he walked outside the building I sighed, “Wanna share an umbrella with me?” I heard a laugh and suddenly realized I didn’t only say it to my self, someone actually heard it. I looked at Japhet who’s now looking at me teasingly and I have a hunch I was blushing.
The following day, seated at a different working station, still Japhet next to me, this IT guy who’s wearing a gray shirt which sleeves unrolled and black trousers that accentuated his height, hair untied, bangs side swept but still stylish… and pretty. I let out a sigh and wondered what was his name. Unfortunately, for the second time I didn’t say it to myself. Japhet actually heard me again.
Friday, and still puzzled by his name, he came back to the training room with a casual black shirt and jeans. Japhet then asked Ms. A what was the IT guy’s name. He answered with a bit shyness on his face, I didn’t even hear his response.
“Joven!” Ms. A told Japhet.
When he left and I thought it would be the last time I’d see him for the day, Japhet then told Ms. A and to the entire class that I have a crush on this IT guy who’s name is Joven. Damn it! How come his name suits very well with his face than the name I assumed would sound good on him?
Hours then passed and I thought everyone forgot, he returned and Ms. A started to tease. With embarrassment I looked down and the only words that came out of my mouth were “Stop it, guys!”. I felt like a teenager all over again, blushing and… just blushing. He waved Hi to me when Ms. A teasingly introduced us to each other and I only rolled my eyes which was absolutely rude.
Three years ago, I thought it was something that’s nothing, until that very day I realize he’s getting prettier and prettier everyday no matter how funny he walks. Going three and counting, I still feel like a thirteen year old having her first crush every time he says ‘hi’ either in facebook or in person. Going three and I stop counting the days, I’m still figuring out if this is just one of those crushing fest disease An obsession? A habit I have mastered? Or am I already just denying am in love?