I’ve been quiet frustrated for the past few weeks. And surprisingly, this time it isn’t about work. It’s about my willingness to write something but couldn’t.
Have you had that feeling while in a moving vehicle; say, a jeepney, a bus or in a car and all the words are overflowing you want to write them down but you can’t for some reasons? You wish to be home or arrived in your destination so you can write those thoughts down. But when you get there, and you have your pen and journal with you… wosh! The words are gone in a snap. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
I’ve been trying to write the past few weeks but all those exercises are not getting any good. I’ve been thinking what’s wrong with me. Is it the stress at work that’s draining my brain? Probably.
But probably too, it’s because it’s been a while since I picked up a novel. I’ve been reading a couple of self-help books since the start of the year. And the reason I can’t write about them because every time I’m finished, I have to try the lessons I’ve learned so I could write something better later.
Could it also be because I’ve been sleeping recently that I don’t even find a time to listen to some good music? Maybe. So yesterday, I took a tour to the mall and purchased a new set of headphones and I even switched phones with my sister just so I could listen to more music regularly (my phone’s battery dies easily compared to hers).
Or is it also because it’s been a while since I was out? I mean out somewhere my brain could generate more precious words. I went to Manila about three weeks ago to watch the documentary film of my favorite rock band. I wanted to write my feelings down and share them but I ended up writing a plain, boring event report (read here). That four-day vacation could have been good too if only I didn’t fly straight from Manila to my workstation here in Cebu. All good thoughts and feelings about my short vacation have vanished at the time I stepped into the production floor.
Did I say this frustration about writing something good isn’t from my stress at work? Part of it – I guess. But then should I go out somewhere one of these days? Probably, this coming weekend? I’ll see what lies in my calendar. I’ve got a couple of tasks to do and going out of town or to the beach is at the very bottom of the list. But then, maybe just maybe… should I skip and go directly to the bottom of the list and go back up once done? [Huge sigh]I guess keeping a blog is frustrating specially that you used to be active and suddenly you’re in hiatus for one reason: you cannot write something worth sharing. This is really frustrating.