When do “What if’s” become just another set of “What if’s”?

It’s been months since I last thought about you. I’ve been seeing you quiet a lot lately but I didn’t care to click on the bubble. The magic is gone. There’s no more sting in my heart whenever I remember you. There’s no more rush of the blood or the pumping of my heart whenever I see you. All those bitterness and pain are now replaced by gratefulness.

With all those days I cried a lot on a bus, at work and in my room; I look at them now with a smile on my face. Because I know I have survived and have learned a lot from that heartache.

I have learned how to appreciate myself, the world I am living, became friends with strangers and be adventurous. I have done so many things that not only made me forget about you but also made me feel contented. Above all, I have also learned how to fall in love again.

But what if… all of these fade as if I was just dreaming the whole time? What if we see each other again and remember all the good and bad memories? What if the new found love I am proud to have now is just a joke? What if all these years, I was just making my self believe that yes, I have already forgotten everything about you. What if all this time, I still love you?

I wonder when do these “what if’s” become just another “what if’s”.



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