4 Things I’ve Learned from Amo Gani

Amo Gani. The person I remember whenever I hear South Border singing to Rainbow. He’s a good friend, a big brother who loves arts, music, his family and his friends.  He was amazing and unforgettable. He was too young but that was God’s plan- I guess.

I am still haunted by his death in 2003 perhaps because of guilt that I refused to join him in his last day with us. My fear of deep waters is the result of that guilt. Nevertheless, I had good memories with him- a lot of them and this list is just some of those I’d like to share.

  1. You don’t have to be an artist to be creative – for special occasions, we’d run to him for greeting cards. He’d make the cards out of clean folders, coconut spathe, sea shells, sand, etc. He was creative and resourceful. He even shared and showed us how he made them which ultimately gave us ideas on how to DIY our greeting cards and projects.
  2. Find solace in writing – he’s written a lot of songs and we’ve enjoyed listening to them. I remember him singing me a song he’s written about an unrequited love. It was so on-point it brought me to tears (because it was my first heartbreak too). It was the same day when he told me about him writing songs when his emotions are too high.
  3. Your value doesn’t decrease for every unaccepted love – in his first and last letter to me, I’ve learned how to stop pretending to be someone else just to fit one’s “ideal girl”. I still hold on to that letter because it comes handy whenever I forget to be myself. That letter has helped me overcome a major,major heartbreak in 2012- and it will continue to help me because I know he’s talking based on experience.
  4. Friends and Strangers are alike–  he’s a really good friend. He’ll be your ears and shoulders when you need one. I wasn’t really in his circle of friends. I honestly don’t remember how we ended up talking about love one afternoon. He wasn’t supposed to be lost forever if he chose to stay on shore but he knew he needed to help some girls who were crying for help.

Even years later I could still feel the pain of our loss whenever I remember him. I still feel bad refusing his invitation that one Sunday morning. I still wonder what difference would we have now if we went to the beach with him. Could I have told him to stay on shore? Might not be possible – knowing him even for a short time he would never refuse a call for help when he knows he can.




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